Remembering 02/23/2009

On January 19, Lauren and I were relaxing on the couch. The garage and spare room stuffed with boxes of baby books, baby toys, strollers, diapers, etc. I was emailing back and forth with our new home builder; getting updates about what was going to be done that week. 'The slab is going to be poured on Wednesday', read one email. Lauren and I were discussing how great it was going to be to have enough room for everything. How in the world would we get moved into the new house, when it was due to be complete during the same week that we expect the Quads?

The next day, Lauren would be admitted to the hospital after Heidis sac broke. Eight days later, our first daughter would be our family angel.

18 days later, Lauren would be admitted again after Lilys sac broke. The next 9 days included Lauren being on 100% bed rest, laying upside down, and pumped with ump-teen number of drugs. While I had my moments of weakness, this was a ride that we were on no matter what. All I could do was look forward. Each day gave us more hope.

Feb 23, 2009, six months from today, was the worst day of my life. It was the day I realized, no matter what you do, you have no control. It was the day I realized hope can be futile. It was the day that while holding my dying children, I begged the Lord to help them. It was the day Lily, Paige, and Rylan left this world in my arms.

While time doesn't stop, it sure can be a thief. A piece of me was stolen that day.



4 comments:
gravatar
Lee said...
August 23, 2009 11:14:00 AM EDT  

I'm sorry man, I really am. And I know no matter how much I think about you guys every day or how many sorries you receive it's just not enough. Just hang on to each other to help with the pain. I love you guys.

gravatar
nennermommy said...
August 23, 2009 5:45:00 PM EDT  

((Crying)) I don't know what to say.....

Wow! I am so sorry! It had to have been so painful, and still is?

I remember checking my blog everyday just to see how you and Lauren and babies were doing. The day she delivered I just felt sick and worried. I don't even know you personally but I just wanted to get on a plane and hug and comfort you two. Well more I wish I was God and could change the outcome:(

gravatar
jag said...
August 23, 2009 6:07:00 PM EDT  

Also crying. Breaks my heart. I am so so sorry...

gravatar
Young Family said...
October 17, 2009 11:32:00 PM EDT  

I'm so sorry. I have one angel baby, not four. One is unbareable. My heart breaks for you and your wife.

Post a Comment