1st Fathers Day
I'll start this post off by thanking everyone who wished me a Happy Fathers Day. Each email, text, and phone call helped bring a smile to my face on a difficult day.
The day was spent going to Home Depot, mowing the lawn, laying on the hammock, and dining out for breakfast and dinner. Not too shabby of a day in that regard.
As a Dad without children its quite an awkward day - especially since it was the first. People who know what happened don't quite know how to act, which is expected. Heck I didn't even know how to act. I can only imagine how Lauren and other Mothers that have lost children feel on Mothers Day.
At one point I found myself standing in my closet; tears running down my cheeks. In my head: a flash of what it would be like to take my kids out for the day.
What a great feeling it must be to be out at the park or pool with your kids on Fathers Day. For me, not yet.
June 25, 2009 12:09:00 AM EDT
Wow! I am so sorry! I have thought about you two everyday! Oh I so wish I could make it all better ... I hope before you know it you will have years of playing with your babies on Fathers day! Your a great father in my book..just shedding those tears. I'm sure they were all in the closet with you kissing and hugging you!
June 25, 2009 8:47:00 AM EDT
Wow... I'm so sorry, Josh. I thought about you this father's day. I hope by next year (maybe!) you'll have at least on baby to love on!
June 25, 2009 8:49:00 AM EDT
Do you think you'll try for another anytime soon?
I'm so sorry to hear about your first father's day... But you will ALWAYS be a father!
June 25, 2009 7:32:00 PM EDT
Those holidays are sooo hard- very hard. Mother's Day this year was extremely hard for me...just awful thinking about what would have been, and feeling so separated from my two girls in Heaven. With four kids up in Heaven, I can imagine it would be that much harder for you and Lauren. What I said was that for me, the good thing is that Mother's Day only comes once/year...so that bittersweet day isn't coming back for another year, and by then hopefully there will be more healing. I hope that next Father's Day (and Mother's Day), you and Lauren have experienced some healing in the heart, and that it won't be such a hard day for you guys. Many hugs to you...hang in there!
-Erika
http://littletinyfootprints.blogspot.com/
June 26, 2009 4:33:00 PM EDT
It may always be a bit of a sad holiday for you, but hopefully the good far outweighs the bad in the near future.
June 26, 2009 5:01:00 PM EDT
Now I wish I had responded to your text the way I wanted to. I considered returning your Happy Father's day wish, but decided against as I didn't want to "rub salt in the wound" so to speak.
Please know that my heart and my thoughts were with you.
To make up for chickening out and not saying what I was thinking, you can have my kids for a day once we move down there! Deal? And no, I'm not just looking for free baby-sitting.... I'm really thinking about you here, really - yeah, that's the ticket!
June 26, 2009 10:06:00 PM EDT
it's nice to hear from a dad's heart on this...wishing your sweet babies were here on your first father's day. no doubt they were celebrating up above.
i was thinking of you and all the other dads whose arms were empty this year.
((hugs))
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